he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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