jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
