three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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