you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
