And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
