I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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