Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
