The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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