Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
