and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
