i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
