good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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