i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize