there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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