Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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