I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
