This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
