playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
