i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
