we have officially lost it.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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