just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
