Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
