So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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