what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
