that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize