your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
