I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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