he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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