fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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