At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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