so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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