Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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