someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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