Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
