Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
