best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
