Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
