Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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