Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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