fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
