I cannot find my penis.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
