As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
