Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
