Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize