I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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