dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
