Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
