i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
