Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
