I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I enjoy the company of your penis
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize