drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
