A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
