Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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