Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
