Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
