you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
