I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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