Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i need some magic done to my vagina
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize