glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
