When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
