woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I need a beard to bite.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
