i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
