The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
