operation harelip BJ is a go
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
