omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
