He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
