I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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