I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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