that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
