Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
