Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
soo... how was my night?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize