We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
