we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
