She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
